..transition

Another school year has (almost) ended and I am at the tail-end of two essays that are just above the horizon. Change, like everything else, has been rampant over the last two weeks and I have been particularly interested in watching certain things in my life close. UI, small group, classes, Our House, Star Life, my family are all things that have been changing in my life as of late. As change has been present I have been noticing that change itself has been different. The goodbyes are much more like a saddened wave then an epic cry session. It seems to be much more natural and accepted as a common part of our evolution as people. So, change is very prevalent but it doesn't cause that same sense of acute pain in my chest anymore. 

I have been noticing a little that I have been growing up.  I was putting my sociology notes into a binder last night and noticed that Deviance (fall quarter) had pounds of doodles on the sides. The  papers were in  terrible condition and they were incredibly wrinkled, a mass of different sizes and tattered shapes. My theory notes (winter quarter) were much more organized, lacking doodles and stains. They were ordered and dated. More evidence that I am old: I put a top sheet on my bed. To most this is probably an anonymous action, having little more significance than extra laundry to do. For me it's a little bit more symbolic. When I was probably 12, I went over to my mom's friend's house and she was folding her laundry. She was awkwardly folding the bottom sheet and then asked if I used a top sheet on my bed. Embarrassed, I said no.  She then informed me that when I did start using a top sheet I would be grown up. Since then I have made the conscious choice to not use a bottom sheet but last night I bleached my bedding and  put the full set on.

All of this to say that I am walking into a new part of my life and I am excited and ready for it. I am going to be doing amazing work at my well paying internship which enables me to quit my barista job so that I can work on a paper with my professor. That sentence makes me so excited  and I am filled with a lot of peace because I feel ready for it.

(An aside: I have always been very conscious about giving myself time to transition in an out of places and  activities in my life.  This probably comes out of fear of a life disaster but I like it. It makes life less intense and far more 'organic'.)