..tension

Exist in tension. For some reason this seems to be a reoccurring theme in my faith and ends up being a pretty great turnicate when my mental bleeding refuses to stop. But tension, if it is between two 'good' things, should not exist. When all is right, good things live and coexist in harmony with each other. Tension does not exist of necessity and it does not exist independently. It exists when I don't understand ideas or objects properly. When I feel tension between my free will and God's sovereignty it is not because tension is actually present relating those two concepts. It is because I do not understand either of them in enough clarity to see how they can coexist or how they can both be equally as viable in my life.

Tension doesn't freak me out but I think that it has become a comfortable escape in my thinking. When an idea or concept doesn't work well with the rest of my thinking- blame it on 'the tension of the Christian faith'. Ascribing the this feeling of paradox to reality is claiming ultimate insight into topics and assuming a level of contradiction inherent in the universe, or at least in human relationships to God. The tension is real, I often feel it in my life, but I want to reframe it as a means and not an end. Tension as an explanation leaves me emotional and pacified and lets me off the mental hook. 

How this tension thought works out with sin: ask me later. I haven't thought about it yet.