..feasting

I think that Jesus is really great at answering prayers. Recently I have been seeking his face on the role that spiritual disciplines should take in my life. I feel like I have taken a vacation from Christianity over the last week or so and the change has been very refreshing in my life. I have taken a break from the expectations of it all, allowing myself to be content in the moments that I have been given with Jesus and rest in them without guilt of skipping Bible reading or prayer time. My prayers have been sporadic, passionate, and frustrated, but I think that overall they have been filled with both honesty to myself and God about the true desires of my heart. God’s answer to my prayer was one of an image. I want to experience God in all of his fullness. I want my relationship with him to be like feasting on his goodness every moment of my day. I want to radiate in his presence and have that radiate in my life. I love the imagery from Exodus where Moses goes up to the mountain and spends 40 days with God and he comes back and his face is glowing and all of the Israelites know that he has experienced the divine presence of God. I think that this redefines the phrase, “Your life is a ministry”, for me. It is no longer the lifestyle I live that should only scream God but also how much intensity and passion I have just for him. I think that it can be a visible, physical element of who I am and I want to experience that feeling. I want to bring people to Christ because of how beautiful he is in my life, not necessarily because of how many theological ducks I have in a row. I want to experience the deeply powerful beauty of God in my life always and I want to feast on his hisad (all the positive aspects of him) daily. I now have the proper thinking to have my spiritual disciplines come from a foundation of divine intimacy with God and a crazy, all consuming desire to be with him that they are no longer a burden but a humbling pleasure.