..funeral

Time has passed by and I am smiling because I am typing in this box. This is a friendship that I have been missing for a good many months.

I cannot afford an update on life up to this point and I suppose my only desire is to see my maturity through words and not through stories of growth.

I am struggling a lot right now on several funerals I have to go to. I have accepted an invitation to attend the funeral of my friend guilt and I am driving there, dressed in radiant black and I can taste the formaldehyde of its dead body when I enter into the wake. I don't think that I am over with this funeral yet.

I am dining on the refreshments after attending a funeral for my friend business. I don't speak of him anymore and he has been eliminated from my life. I am sure his ghost will haunt me though.

There is an invitation to a funeral that I haven't opened yet. It's for a friend. Not a friend that's an adjective, but a friend. The problem is that I won't be able to attend a funeral or watch them be buried by distance or time, because they are in my life, except wordless and timelessly present. I don't know if it's the 'good Christian' thing to do. To open the invitation. I know it's something I don't want to do, and don't want to admit.