..lent

Rarely in my life do I feel as thought I am being prepared for an event on the religious calender. I think that I ebb and flow with the tide of advertising, reflecting on the coming season because it is coming and that is just what I do. I don't feel as though I am every spiritually ready to really experience the depth of Christmas or Easter and I think that this interaction has become the normal for me in my life. For some reason, Lent has been unexpected this year. For a while I have been strangely disillusioned with myself and my relationship with God. It has been filled with a sense of failure and sad shortcomings that have left me frustrated and confused. However, I went to the Lent service at school today and it all kind of seemed to make sense with the way that I have been experiencing my faith recently. A part of me thinks that I am applying spiritual meaning to nothing, to simply ease the condition of my heart. I don't think that I will assume this to be true though. Might as well assume it to be true, I have nothing to loose.

Lent is about becoming real. Stripping away false religious pretenses to experience God in a way that is intimate and raw.

I also feel academically isolated right now. P.S.