Currently, I am living in the U-District, interning at FareStart, and trying to find some sort of job. Although life is the way that I want it, I also kind of hate it right now. Everything is so disgustingly comfortable. I realized today that I haven't really hit anything hard and that worries me. I feel stagnant and apathetic, or that basically everything I do is expected of me, as though it fits my personality or the "stereotype" that I am attempting to play. This has been really difficult for me. I also have been struggling with my idenity a lot recently too and I think that I need to spend more time with God. I don't want that to be the reason that I do it, but it definatley a positive side effect. I also don't really feel like I own anything right now and that is a strange feeling. I feel like the my personhood is being leached out and taken up by a lot of other people and that is a very strange feeling. Haha, look at that. I also feel like people are gauging conversation around me and telling me things that I want to hear, and at time it feels like they are trying to impress me which is so very weird. I am sure that it is going to be fine, just a few of the pot hole I have hit so far.
I need to pray more.
